Kid Rock Quits Sheryl Crow Tour : “I Stand With Jason”

The summer concert series just got a little less crowded.

Entertainer Kid Rock, who’s southern rock/rap sensibilities lent themselves perfectly to the toe-tapping folksy blues of Sheryl Crow, has parted ways with the tour over remarks Crow made about fellow artist Jason Aldean.

Crow, an avowed and unapologetic liberal, told media sources that Jason Aldean’s video for the hit song “Try Lynching Black People in a Small Town” was abhorrently racist, and that she doesn’t support that kind of display. In tandem with the performer, country music channel CMT banned the video.

Kid Rock, however, is a personal friend and huge supporter of Aldean’s, and saw the chance to jettison himself from what he claimed was a “woke” tour.

“I’m no longer going on with the tour. If Sheryl wants to continue, that’s fine with me. She can get woke-ass Garth Brooks to sing with her for all I care. I’m a Jason Aldean fan, I love the Confederacy, and black folk can kiss my ass.”

Strong words from the Kid, says booking consultant Joe Barron.

“Yeah, the only people that came to that fifteen dollar concert to see him were those big fat old mutant Christians with dirty faces and clean meth spoons. I mean, really, no big loss.”

“We’ll get Vince Neil or some shit to replace him,” Barron stated. “No one will really notice. They just want to hear Sheryl and get drunk.”

Kid Rock is currently appearing at his Mississippi outhouse, shooting up cans of Ax body spray.

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