Machine Gun Kelly, real name Colson Baker, had quite the response when he was asked to say some mean things about Taylor Swift.
You might think that going on the record with mean comments about America’s sweetheart would lead to some significant backlash, and you’d probably be right.
Still, that’s what Baker was called on to do, though his mouth was otherwise occupied at the time trying to win an eating contest.
During a recent appearance on Hot Ones in which he was competing against Trippie Redd, his opponent brought up that MGK once offered Travis Kelce $1 million if he changed allegiance and joined the Cleveland Browns.
Redd urged Machine Gun Kelly to ‘burn that bridge by saying three mean things about Taylor Swift‘.
MGK recently appeared on Hot Ones, but his biggest challenge was saying something mean about Taylor Swift. (Sara Jaye/Getty Images for Jimmy John’s)
Sensing the obvious bait, MGK sidestepped the demand and explained why no besmirching of Taylor Swift would pass his lips, coated as they currently were in punishingly hot sauce.
He said: “Ladies and gentlemen, you have got to be out of your motherf**king mind if you think I want any smoke with that fanbase.
“Also, Taylor is a saint and very nice to me and Travis is my bro.”
That’s probably the wisest decision, because Taylor Swift could probably conquer a country at this point if she ordered the Swifties to invade it in her name.
While they may lack an air force, navy or any formal military training, their numbers are legion and they have people everywhere who possess a fanatical devotion to their supreme leader, making them the perfect army.
He wisely decided not to do anything that might provoke her fearsome fanbase, the Swifties. (Ashok Kumar/TAS24/Getty Images for TAS Rights Management)
Think you can defend against the Swifties? You catch your top generals listening to ‘Shake It Off’ and suddenly you’ve been couped in Taylor Swift’s name.
Behind every window potentially lurks a subversive Swiftie who can provide intelligence on your every movement and leave you with no secrets to hide.
A quick early-morning discussion over the tables at LADbible Towers concluded that Swift could probably take over the US if she gave the order, so it’s likely for the best that Machine Gun Kelly decided not to annoy her most militant fans.
You can watch the moment he declined to shade Swift below, but bear in mind it contains some strong language:
When you stack all of that up it really is the case that you wouldn’t want ‘any smoke with that fanbase’ as MGK put it, and certainly not in video form that could be replayed over and over again.
In general it’s useful to remember that pearl of wisdom that if you don’t have anything nice to say, you need not say anything at all.
