In a primary school where I am employed, a recent incident shed light on a concerning issue: the responsibility of nappy-changing in schools. One day, a harried mother forgot to drop off her son’s spare set of clothes and some nappies. She promised she would return within the hour, but 90 minutes later, there was still no sign of her. When I called her to ask where they were, her response was depressingly negative: “I don’t have time! He’s at school, so it’s your problem now.” This incident highlighted a growing problem in schools, particularly among affluent families.

Nappy-changing is unquestionably not in a primary teacher’s job description. This is especially true when the child in question is not a toddler but a six-year-old. It may be surprising to hear that a mother would send her son to school without proper toilet training, but sadly, this blasé attitude is becoming increasingly common, especially among many affluent families. In my school, located in a well-to-do middle-class town in the south of England, where I teach children aged four to six, we have a fully equipped changing station with spare clothes, underwear, nappies, wipes, and lotions—all funded by the school budget. This situation is not unique; most of the primary schools I have worked in have needed these amenities.

Over my 11 years in teaching, I have encountered children aged from four to seven who still aren’t toilet-trained on an almost daily basis. In the incident mentioned earlier, my teaching assistant had to go to the local supermarket to buy appropriately sized nappies for the embarrassed six-year-old. Instances like this are why teachers like me are concerned about the increasing number of children who arrive at school without proper toilet training.

Shona Sibary’s recent confession in Femail added fuel to this concern. She admitted to sending her four-year-old to school without proper potty training and simply hoping for the best. MP Miriam Cates had blamed overstretched working mothers for the rise in older children still in nappies at school. Shona expressed guilt about her decision but failed to recognize the frustration and burden it places on teachers.

I’m only 33 years old, and yet, I’ve changed hundreds of nappies in the schools I’ve worked in. The range of ages I’ve encountered is vast, from a two-year-old toddler to a mortified seven-year-old. The fact that I, a non-parent, have more nappy-changing experience than some parents is ironic and troubling.

Parenting experts suggest that children are mature enough to learn toilet training between the ages of two and three. However, a recent report revealed that 90 percent of reception teachers, like me, reported having children in their class who aren’t toilet-trained. This issue is not just about changing a child and providing dry clothes; it disrupts lessons, requires contacting parents, and necessitates checking for permission. I spend between four and five hours a week dealing with this, time that could be better spent on teaching.

The burden of nappy-changing is not just time-consuming; it also affects the rest of the class, especially pupils who need extra attention. These are the children who need our full focus, yet they often get overlooked while we handle the basics of keeping everyone in clean clothes.

When I became a teacher, I envisioned a fulfilling career working with children. After completing a psychology degree, I spent two years as a teaching assistant and loved it. However, over the years, I’ve sometimes felt that I don’t have time to teach at all due to the increasing burden of nappy-changing.

Interestingly, this issue is not limited to children from disadvantaged backgrounds. It’s often middle-class parents, accustomed to nannies and au pairs, who expect the educational system to pick up the slack. These parents come from various professions, including doctors, nurses, finance, and the civil service. They frequently drop off their children late, causing stress to their kids.

Face-to-face communication with such parents is rare because they claim to have no time. When I do manage to speak with them, I emphasize the importance of life skills, including toilet training. I try to convey that toilet training requires their full attention and offer tips for encouragement. Unfortunately, many parents respond with “I’m too busy!”

It’s bewildering to think that parents can be too busy to teach such a basic skill that profoundly impacts their child’s physical and emotional development. Why do some parents believe that this crucial responsibility falls more on teachers than on themselves, their child’s primary caregivers?

The burden of nappy-changing falls disproportionately on teachers. If every child in a class turned up without proper potty training, teachers would spend a significant portion of their time changing them, leaving less time for essential academic instruction.

To parents who believe that nappy-changing is solely a teacher’s job, I say this: I teach a class of 30 students. Even changing one child takes up a significant portion of my time that should be dedicated to teaching them essential skills like reading, spelling, and counting. While toilet training may seem boring, it’s a fundamental part of parenting. Ensuring your child’s happiness, confidence, and overall development should be motivation enough.

In conclusion, the burden of nappy-changing in schools is a growing concern, and teachers like me are increasingly frustrated by the lack of parental responsibility in this area. It’s time for parents to recognize their role in toilet training and understand that neglecting this responsibility not only hinders their child’s development but also places an unnecessary burden on teachers. If we want our education system to focus on teaching academic skills, we must address this issue and encourage parents to take the lead in toilet training their children.